we are not immune to the prevailing winds, and as such have again succumbed to ambition. we are no longer alone, or feeble. we have found power in the moment and have largely abandoned all forms of masterbation.
told not to keep pets. Some guys interpreted this as wholesale war on
all the animals in town. Dogs bared the brunt of our malaise. There
was so many of them. It wasn’t just the young guys that tortured
the dogs. One platoon sergeant used to hurl rocks at any canine that
had the misfortune of wandering into our perimeter. He took pleasure
from this. He looked forward to the opportunity to kill someone. This
wasn’t the place for that. So why not fuck with the dogs? We were
told that animals harbored disease, and that letting them into your
AO was unsanitary. They had a special MOS that controlled animals.
They would come in and remove a persistent animal. Some of the animal
control people were women. That was nice. Slingshots became
prevalent, either homemade or sent from home. I had a real beauty.
Shooting the animals passed the time. The animals weren’t the real
targets. Time was. I used to chew sunflower seeds when I was on the
gun. Sticking out of the turret, I would try to spit the shells at
the locals who either drove, or walked by. That passed the time as
one of our more influential profs would say, "I don't know." quite a bit. the student would ask a questions, and he would reply, "oh... ... I don't know..."
he would inevitably answer the question with more questions.
that's good stuff.
that kind of preface seemed admirable.
so... we've adopted this into our own dialectic.
it's difficult to discuss nihilism without mentioning 'belief'. for the earnest nihilist rejects everything. it's not just simple dis-'belief'.
dis-belief would assumes there's some-thing after the hyphen.
there is not.
so how does one discuss nihilism without lending credence towards belief?
furthermore can one remain nihilist, while espousing nihilism?
before the dialogue even begins, there are assumptions...
"I believe in [blank]."
"I don't believe in [blank]."
already accepts the basic premise of the word "belief". so how does one reject it, without ever uttering the word itself? particularly when the word so closely matches other words used to discuss it..?
we've always preferred the term 'value' over 'belief'. value seems to get to the root of things easier (and it doesn't go off accidentally like the loaded gun that is the latter). even the most mild-mannered persons can get very defensive and irate when their beliefs are challenged. yet, seem open-minded to discuss the value of things. also, value seems more appropriate to the discourse since it comes 'before the hyphen' so to speak. in other words, we are not discussing the 'what' of belief, but the 'how'...
Just reviewing your day here, wondering where and when you may have misspoke, or put your foot in your mouth. Perhaps you were a little abrasive with some esoteric comments about humans? "Hairless-apes" is maybe a dialogue better reserved for academia and not a celebration (with impressionable young minds present). Although, you’re pretty sure M*** tunes you out most times, you should nevertheless endeavor to mind your words in the future. E.g., you could add that these views in no way diminish the majesty and beauty of life witnessed and appreciate everyday.
Like the rocks, trees, and flowers...
Do you feel inadequate when outnumbered? Cuz' you don't work and rely so heavily on others for support? Do you compensate by being bombastic and loquacious? Or fear being judged for lack of ambition and attempt to occlude listlessness with idealistic rationalizations about the futility of existence, and the obsolescence of being?
Yes. You can discuss loads of useless ideas. However, when it comes to functioning in polite society you are still very immature. On top of that you crave approval (which creates a lot of dissonance). this is evident when you go from silent-brooding to abrasive-pontificating after a few cups of coffee.
Anyways, thinking of myself, and how much I’ve got on my plate. It reminds me of the [redacted]. How you struggled to cope those 4 measly years. Maybe it's a weak analogy? I remember you (about halfway through the commitment) believing considering that, “someday all this would be a memory." Well it's been 13 years since you got out, and now you look back fondly. Even the shitty parts bring you solace today. So, when I’m down in the dumps, and maybe [redacted] acting-out, or stuck in traffic, and the house a mess, I hack into the moment. I focus singularly on the task at hand +/or discover something beautiful to appreciate. I too remember that “someday this will all be a memory."